JAPAN’S TOP IDOLS: The idols you can… buy in convenience stores?!

[satoshitomi]

In an unexpected move, big-shot sweets factory/undercover Oompa Loompa breeding grounds, Morinaga, recently unleashed a massive campaign introducing its newest image—hiring well known actress/empress/BEST KICK-ASS TEACHER IN THE WHOLE WORLDHELLYEAHFTWNakama Yukei and Arashi’s own, burn-to-a-crispy-brown-with-a-creamy-nougat-center Ohno Satoshi as the new faces for Morinaga Biscuits.

Asked about his band mate’s sudden appearance for a direct competitor to his own commercial, Ninomiya Kazunari 28, was seen ranting to innocent bystanders at a nearby public toilet.

“He keeps going on about how hot his commercial of a potty… a pommy? Wait what was it again…? I think that young man needs help,” Nana-san 57, said tsk-ing when the crazed idol stopped her on her way to the market earlier that morning.

Asked for a comment about the incident, Arashi’s leader smirked rather uncharacteristically to our reporter.

“His CM might look hot, but mine looked AWESOME” he replied smugly.

Reports state that Johnny and Associates have been bribing victims of the said deranged idol by giving them a set of sparkly, scratch-and-sniff Sexy Zone stickers.

Following this news, fellow band mates Aiba Masaki and Jun Matsumoto has also been offered new commercials for… wait, what was it for again? Chocolate and cough candy? Well, they looked hot and that’s what really matters.

Such news is being tossed around the media that this strategic move is a direct attack to a certain idol-group that uses the theme ‘idol’s you can meet’ as their slogan. Currently, there is a talk about the group assuming the ‘idols you can buy in convenience stores’ by monopolizing various store-bought food and items. There is also a spreading rumor of a possible CM offer to future prime minister/maid-turned-butler Sho Sakurai for edible underwear (currently in the rage in variousconbinis everywhere).

So, is this the new age for Johnny’s? Is Arashi really the new face of… convenience stores?

Its idols you can meet VS Idols you can buy at a convenience store— WHO WILL WIN?

You decide!

Stay tuned for more news!

This news update has been brought to you by Spicy Nino-Squid Chips! Slimy, yummy and with a hint of jabanero—the perfect snack for your afternoons at home playing Wii Party by yourself!

Squid-chips! Mmm~! They’re finger-licking good! ♫

(I may or may not have too much time in my hands. Tomato,tomato. :c)